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I’m Emily Jane, 19yrs, Female, 180cm, studying Law/ Business. Now we are on a need to know basis, Yay! I wanted to start blogging because why not! Actually i recently read this book about, Peace and gratitude and finding yourself (blah blah blah), even though I can’t remember the title, I do remember most of the book (surprisingly). Never mind, there was a whole chapter dedicated to journalling and how it benefits you in sooo many ways. I had been feeling a little bit stressed lately with uni and relationships and I have so many thoughts constantly that i wanted to spare with you guys! So I decided to blog my thoughts and all that jazz, as a release!

So, lets give this a go so I have been sitting at this cafe for at least 1.5 hrs now sipping my chia latte’ and macaroon and trying not to think about the amount of calories I just consumed. (approximately 140 for the macaroon and 110 for the chia) 250 calories is about 30mins of running at 8kms per/hr at the gym! Far out! Let’s not think about that. hahaha

Anyways……

I have just been shopping for a 21st outfit for one of my friends birthdays tonight. Even though I promised myself I would wear something I already had and not blow my budget for this week. That went out the widow when I saw this amazing designer boutique that had 80% off, it would be a sin to just walk past! right? After spending $250 of the outfit I thought I better find a cafe and sit down for a while.

So here I am sitting in a cafe with my apple laptop that I had to pay off with my student, centre link money, that restricted me from going out that weekend and getting drunk enough that the next morning I would question the meaning of this embarrassing ¬†yet apparently ‘fore-filling’ life. Unfortunately I am, (apparently) a dedicated university student who was at uni until 6pm on a Friday night! As my uni figured that it might be a fun idea to put law tutorials 5-6pm on Friday night, just in case you as a law student, had a crazy idea of having a little bit of a social life. Uni was there to smack that thought right out of you head.

I am not normally this pessimistic, not get me wrong! I mean, I am a crazy all for life ‘go getta’ sort of person. I love everything and am pretty much down for any kind of new adventure. Before uni life, I used to live in a small town in North Queensland, here I competed in competitive show jumping since I was 5 yrs old, huge animal lover! having 6 horses, 2 dogs, and 2 cats at home, but now I only have a gold fish in my room in the city. People often ask me if I like the city more then the farm life… the answer is I don’t really know? I love both, and both have pros and cons i guess. The Farm has my family of course and its a very sheltered and pure sort of life style but has limited opportunity. Whereas, the city full of opportunity and your exposed to anything and everything, however so big and often hard to find peace and the sense of home.

I think that is the biggest thing about moving here for my studies, the sense of home! its a weird feeling, its like i live in two places at once but then no where at the same time? If that makes sense? Even through i have friends and family here its just not home… and now at home everyone is moving on and doing things, that there doesn’t quite feel like home either? maybe its not a bad thing for this time in my life? i guess this is the time to question everything and be throw up in the air… hopefully i don’t land flat on my face…

Tell me if anyone has ever felt this feeling, and if there is anything they did that helped, or if it is a good thing for now?

Love EJ